wtf, kitchen?

***WHEN I SAY "THE CHINESE" IN THIS ENTRY I AM REFERRING ONLY TO THE CHINESE PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY FLAT. I AM NOT EXPRESSING RESENTMENT OF ALL CHINESE PEOPLE. I AM SURE MOST CHINESE PEOPLE ARE LOVELY AND TIDY. THESE CHINESE PEOPLE, HOWEVER, ARE NOT, WHICH IS WHY THIS ENTRY IS ABOUT THE MESSES THEY, AND NOT ALL CHINESE PEOPLE, MAKE. THANK YOU.

The Chinese (who live in my flat) are horrible people who do horrible things to innocent kitchens. I feel this point should be reiterated. A lot. With photos. Enjoy. (Mom, you may want to skip this one. It will make your little dutch heart stop)

You can click on these to make them bigger, but really, why would you want to?

I know I posted this one before, but for the love of christ, IT'S A WHOLE LOBSTER JUST SITTING IN A PAN ON THE COUNTER WTF CHINESE PEOPLE (who live in my flat) WERE YOU RAISED IN A BARN (WITH LOBSTER)


This may look like an innocent-if-slightly-withered onion, but be assured, it is not. You see, previous to its being relocated to its current location (on top of the microwave), it spent a good WEEK marinating in leftover raw chicken juices. As in, they'd made some chicken, but left the packaging (complete with red-tinted chicken water) on the counter. For a week. With an onion in it.

Yummy.


This isn't really a disgusting kitchen thing so much as an illustration of the fact that Chinese Girl (name unknown, alias "Fang") buys catering-sized boxes of eggs, then leaves them on the counter for weeks. Weeks. Also, you can see the giant cleaver she uses to cut EVERYTHING with. It's very unsettling.


Now we arrive at the source of my original beef (lol) with Chinese Girl. Aside from the obvious twisted logistics involved in deciding to dump raw meat in a bowl and freeze it, uncovered, this used to be MY drawer. However, a few weeks after school started, Chinese Girl decided that a drawer being full of frozen pizza, ground coffee, and tortilla shells meant that it was obviously not being used and that she was free to dump her weird chunks of raw meat and and bizarre Chinese snack foods ("VEGETABLE FISH BALL" comes to mind) in it, eventually displacing my food to locales unknown. Seriously, I'm missing a pizza. I bet she ate it. I hate you, Chinese Girl.


This is what the stove looks like after a typical Chinese (who live in my flat) Cooking Party (tm). Especially sad since the cleaners actually just came the day before and the stove was spotless then. Note that one of the burners has been left on.


The corner next to the stove. We all have cabinets to put our things in, and everyone has one. Chinese Girl, however, apparently feels that she is also entitled to the space directly under the cabinet. And directly under my cabinet. And Charlotte's. And Tim's. And Jay's. And on top of the microwave. And on top of the fridge. And inside the fridge. And IN MY GODDAMN FREEZER DRAWER AKLAHSFDKSHG;FAG'FJBL'D


I'll end with this one. I think it speaks for itself. There have been times when the garbage pile has reached the underside of the counter.

Well, that's all for now! I hope you enjoyed this tour of the fine kitchen accomodations at Lewes Court! :D :D :D

Here are some things I have been thinking lately

I can't come up with anything coherent to say, so here's this instead.

1. I hate everyone who comes to class in pajamas. Not only does it say "I was too goddamn lazy to pick up a pair of jeans off the floor this morning", it also says "I did not shower today, and am completely unashamed of that fact." Mmm.
2. Someone in the block of flats across the footpath from me has been flicking his lights on and off with varying period and frequency for the last two hours. Either his lights are broken or he has the most demanding case of obsessive-compulsive disorder known to man and is merely flicking the lights exactly 500,000 times before bed
3. I am allergic to something in my room. It might be clean floors. Yeah, I have four lab reports due next week, so everything is spotless. My cleaning procrastination knows no bounds. I even vacuumed.
4. crunchie nuggets are the best snack food ever invented seriously
5. England comes up with really unfortunate names for things
it's mouthwash, guys, seriously



6. I can't remember what I was going to put here so have a picture of a lobster the Chinese left floating in some water in the kitchen for absolutely no reason
i'm thinking of starting a seperate blog with nothing but pictures of the weird shit the chinese leave in the kitchen



7. The school shop actually sells a dish called "pork faggots". Staff were not amused by me standing outside the freezer case, giggling for several minutes straight.
8. I think the lab coordinators are actually trying to kill us off. Monday: X-ray crystallography with machines so old, the only safety warning is a handwritten card reading "Do not remove lead glass shield as x-rays may be harmful" (Also there is a mailing address for Machu Picchu). Tuesday: Measuring vapor pressure... with beakers of elemental mercury.
   

This just in: My bi-monthly entry!

Well, here I am! Unfortunately, not too much to talk about. Hmm, what have I been up to lately? Ah, right:

• I HAVE THREE LABS IN TWO DAYS. EACH LAB IS FOUR HOURS LONG. OH GOD KILL ME NOW
• Relatedly: I hate my life.
• What the christ are bullet points
• lol

Also, I got a new phone. It is shiny (literally: it's an LG Shine). It's roughly over 9000 times better than my 8GBP Asda special.


I rearranged my room, so I have more floorspace to... uhh... do... something. Yoga? I don't know, my only contact with the floor is walking from my computer chair to the door. And that's not something I do often. Anyway, here's a picture of the rearranged room:


Now I am going to go finish the lab report pictured behind the two phones. See you next month, God willing!

Some thoughts

It's well-known among people with no lives that talking to plants helps them grow. Sadly, these people often think that the plants are responding emotionally to the sound of a voice, despite having absolutely no sensory organs capable of doing so. I remember reading that a study was done to determine which helps plants grow more, a friendly voice or an angry one. It was found that it doesn't matter, they both made the plant grow equally (probably because of the CO2 you exhale when you talk).

When you think about it, that means that there is someone, and possibly several someones, who studied and went to school for years, and spent thousands of dollars on education, and probably worked their ass off at it, to swear at a fern. That makes me insanely happy.

Also, DD, if you're reading this, sometimes when I'm sitting in the library at Sussex I SSH into chaos from my iPod and make small directory changes, just because I can.